Tittyology

What Cancer Teaches, Part 1

Welcome to your new school! (Wish it were as cute as the little red schoolhouse on the left...and just a smidge as inviting.)

Cancer is a harsh teacher, but over the last year, I have come to see it as just that - a teacher. (Yes, I realize it's a terrible disease that wreaks havoc. I get it. I'm not a Pollyanna. It has made me pretty miserable at times...and yes, I'm understating.)

BUT...one key to getting along in this life rather that being dragged through it, is to try to get the most out of every situation...even cancer.

So, what does cancer have to teach? Lots of things, but I think these are the BIG ones for me.

First, cancer taught me to Just BE.

When I say, "JUST BE", I mean sitting with yourself and letting everything be okay.

Sounds easier than it is...at least for me.

This one was one of the hardest for me. I'm used to being constantly on the go. Anytime I would sit down to "just be", I'd feel guilty for not being active, for not accomplishing something - cleaning the house, writing, unloading the dishwasher,finishing the work I brought home...You name it. (I had a military father who was strict about not sitting when there were things to do...and there were always things that I should be doing.)

So, as I said, this one was REALLY difficult.

It started with a recommendation from the ObGyn/Shaman I met with in December. She recommended some grounding activities every morning - kind of like centering meditation. I started doing this and then just sitting on the sofa watching the bare trees in the yard, watching the world go by. That was it. I did a lot of NOTHING for the month of January. I just let everything BE...including myself.

Eventually, I started to tap an inner quiet, an ability to "watch" my thoughts without feeling compelled to act, without feeling "pushed" by those thoughts and feelings. I found this was helpful in managing fear to a degree.

I would say that I definitely felt more of a sense of inner power and strength to face whatever came. It was after starting this practice in January, that I was able to start facing the possibility of cancer again in February. I attended the Young Survival Coalition conference which led me to get my slides read again. When those results were confirmed, I was ready for the lumpectomy.

SO, how about you? How long can you sit with yourself and let your thoughts run across your mind - no judgements.

Try it. Get up ten minutes earlier. Breathe deeply. Stretch if you feel like it, and then just be.

Answer this question: If you were able to "just be", what would that look like? What would that feel like? 

P.S. Interesting note: After about four months of these grounding activities and "just being"...and an energy session with the shaman, I had a mammogram. Many of the calcifications in my left breast, were gone, disappeared, no longer there. It may not seem amazing. It didn't to me, even though the radiologist seem baffled. It didn't seem unusual until I found out that calcifications just don't disappear. It's supposed to be medically impossible.

Bras for Breast Cancer Awareness

I love to see people take something that may be considered "misfortune" and use it for the greater good. I'm a big believer that everything happens for a reason. If you can't swallow that, I'd say that how you approach everything in your life makes all the difference.

You can let it get you down and keep you there. (There's nothing wrong with getting down. It's staying there that's the problem.) Or, you can choose to see the brighter side. You can find a way to use your situation to help others.

I believe that prayers are answered through each of us listening to those "a-ha" ideas or by seeing a need and filling it. That's what this gal did with her breast cancer experience. She saw a need and is working to fill it.

Her name is Fatima Karriem. After moving to the US from South Africa, she found out she had cancer. She got her treatment and has started a bra donation program to educate women from her homeland.

Here's the story with details on how to send a bra: Bras for Breast Cancer Awareness.

Recovering wholeness

I just received this poem written by the client of a friend of mine. (My friend is an amazing healer. She's an Ob/Gyn and a shaman...she beautifully combines both physical and spiritual/emotional healing. More on her later.)

The poem is by Patti Carley and speaks to the experience of breast cancer and addresses the loss of parts - or of parts of parts. (Patti had a partial lumpectomy and is also now completely cancer free.) It's a great example of choosing your perspective.

I found the poem to be inspirational because it acknowledges the loss without pity. There's a tendency of both patients and those who love them to focus on the loss that breast cancer causes. There can be the obvious loss of breasts or parts of breasts, but there can also be a loss of confidence, loss of innocence, loss of sensation, loss of a sense of self, perhaps a loss of energy - and the list of losses could go on. This is all I could see last fall. This poem acknowledges the loss but from a place of power.

The poem acknowledges the wholeness that you can have after breast cancer. I find I'm not the same, but I'm certainly not "missing" anything. In fact, I feel stronger, better, more "me" than ever!

So, with Patti's permission, here's the poem. (I love that it's Un"tittled"!)

Untitled (tittled?)


From the dim past
From the far reaches
Of our minds
We recall stories of
A tribe of women
Warriors - hunters
Who cut off a breast
Right or left
So they could pull
The bowstring
Unfettered by flesh.
Mastectomies for
Power and strength
To protect what was
Theirs from harm.
Did I hear them
Call to me,
Sing to me,
Reach out to me?
"Remember our lives,
Remember our sacrifices
In order to save what
You have become.
Tell our story,
Teach our ways.
Become a warrior
Without your breast,
Able to stand
Not mutilated,
But forever whole
And free."

--Patti Carley