Tittyology

Maids and Meal Service...leftovers from the mastectomy

Just a little over a month ago, I was on the phone with a good friend of mine. We were talking about one of our favorite topics...creating our ideal life.

We were making a list of things and experiences we wanted to add to our lives.

We both put the following two things on our lists:

1. Maid Service
2. Meals - i.e. eat out or order in any time we wanted - or go to one of those dinner prep places...or perhaps have a maid that cooks when she comes in. (I used to tutor for a family whose weekly maid would throw together the most wonderful soups while she was there.)

After the mastectomy, I lost my desire to cook...my cooking mojo has only recently returned, and even though I have cleaned since the surgery, it's someting I no longer desire to do. (It's also a service I'd highly recommend while undergoing treatment. I didn't have it, but looking back, this is what I'd do. When friends ask how they can help, say, "I'd love some people to take turns cleaning my house." Then don't feel guilty. Just say "thank you" and enjoy...and focus on getting better.)

Here's the point with the maids and meal service...

I arrived in Bahrain and have had both of these experiences for the past 3 weeks...and I am LOVING it.

The maid, Mimi, lives in the building, comes once a week, does an amazing job and is a really nice person.

I've only cooked a couple of times here...every restaurant delivers, and I mean every restaurant - even fast food like Burger King. (And, no, we haven't been eating fast food.) I've been enjoying Al Abraj and the Indian butter chicken from a place called Georgia's. When I want breakfast, I've just walked onto the base. (Tonight, we actually going to Al Abraj with friends for dinner...Al Abraj is the place where I get the lemon mint juices...got one again today after lunch, and I watched the guy make it so I'd know how.)

My point here is not to say, "Neh, neh, neh. Look at what I have."

My point here is look at how EASY it was to get. I'm not making any more money than I was when I made the list. I didn't even have to go out and interview anyone. Yet here I am in another fabulous house, with an amazing maid, and meal service...ordering out for great food whenever I want.

I became fascinated with "how the universe" works and with success and health and money during my run-in with cancer. I saw things happen in my own body that were not supposed to be possible.

I had great doctors, but I created that health in my head first. I decided in my head how I wanted the surgery to go...and what's funny, is that my four-hour surgery ended up taking less than two...when I imagined the surgery, I didn't know all the middle part so I would "fast forward" through those steps. Doctors and attending said it was like some simple outpatient surgery - not a double mastecomy with reconstuction!

Turns out that my daddy was right. Life really is, "Mind over Matter." He would always say that.

That's what's going on here with the maids and the meals.

All I did was declare what I desired...and here's the key, I imagined myself having it. I was excited about having it.

We get things in our HEAD first. If you can think it, you can have it, do it, be it.

Our HEART brings it to us. Feeling is the fuel.

It is really that simple.

But, I had thought about having a maid for a while...especially after I recovered from the mastecomy and was reevaluating how I wanted to spend my time...cancer will make you think hard about how you spend your precious time, and I didn't want to spend mine cleaning!

I even had gotten business cards from a couple of services...but I hadn't made the calls or taken action. (Part of the problem was that "having a maid" didn't fit in with the Puritan ideals of hard work. Having a maid seemed decadent...even for me. Again,the feeling wasn't supporting belief or even wish.)

So, what was different this time?

Why would this declaration about having a maid be any different?

Here's what it is...I declared it. I tried to picture it in my head - I've never had a maid so I didn't know what it'd be like, but I imagined it, and I got excited about it...and let it go.

As long as you WANT something, you will never have it.(Reread that until it sinks in.)

I started acting as though I already had one. I would think about my life as though the maid were already present.

...And a few weeks later, I'm in Bahrain with a maid - and an amazing one at that. She's great! Cleans really well - and I'm picky! I expect someone to do the kind of job I would do.

Having the maid here has given me a "taste" of that experience, of what it would be like to have a maid. (And it's pretty great.)

Every night for dinner it's just a matter of deciding whether we want Thai, Indian, American, Mexican, or fast food.

The Trick - or the place where people get tripped up -

What's been interesting is that I found that I was actually uncomfortable having someone do things for me that I'd normally do. I'd said for a long time that it'd be nice to have a maid, or I'd say how much I really wanted a maid. Yet, when I actually got one, I was uncomfortable. I didn't know how to act.

This is important because if what we say we want doesn't agree with how we feel, we'll never get anywhere with the goal. Your feeling is the fuel, remember?

So it was important for me to notice that I was uncomfortable and then learn how "to be" with a maid service. It was important to "learn", yet again, how to be taken care of.

The first day Mimi was here, I spilled something on the floor. I grabbed a paper towel, and as I went to wet it, Mimi - who was doing the dishes - insisted that she would take care of it, and shoo-ed me away.

Notice that I had to get "used to" the experience.

Know that you can get "used to" an experience even if the only experience you've got of "the thing" is in your mind and feeling.

Notice also where I first created this experience...in my head and with feeling!!

I'm realizing that we are all making this so very hard, and it was never meant to be that way. Once I got the idea, image and feeling, I didn't DO anything or work harder - just the opposite. It came to me.

Important: If you aren't getting what you desire, I can guarantee you that there's a mismatch between your thoughts, feelings and beliefs.

Now that I've had this experience, I'm in a situation to recreate it - and something better - at will, and might I point out, without struggle and effort.

You are the supreme creator in your own life...God can do no more for you than you will allow to be done, no more than you are willing to receive.

PLEASE READ THIS...

I am reposting this link to the Wired magazine article from my post the other day.

I encourage you to read it and pass it on...you can also just pass on the link to this post.

You could save your own life or that of someone you love.

Here's the article link:

With cancer, catching it early is key.

In fact, there's a great article in Wired magazine this month about just that - the fact that catching it early is key.

The article is called "The Truth About Cancer" - I was blown away. Bravo to Thomas Goetz on a well-written, necessary piece of information...and bravo to Wired for having the balls to put this out there.

The cancer survival rate if it's caught early is 90%. If later, that number drops to 10%.

I've known this truth about cancer from my own experience.

This disease strikes such fear because people don't fully understand the nature of the beast.

Yes, it's scary as hell to hear the words, "It was cancer."

Part of the reason cancer is so scary for so many is that it's not caught until it's darn near too late.

Is Cancer Back?

I haven't posted here in a while.

The truth is...I had let all the blogs lapse. I've been rethinking everything I'm doing. (I still wrestle with only doing what I love to do, and I'm still learning to rely on feeling instead of my thinking for that.) In "letting go" of things and activities, I then feel free to take back only what I truly love doing with all my heart...and that's one of the many lessons I learned from cancer.

My mom's acupuncurist put it this way...so wise. She said that the Chinese have a saying, "Think with your heart, not with your head."

I keep owning that at a deeper and deeper level. After all, any of us who have had this disease, know that life is fragile, that time can be limited...life is meant to be lived, enjoyed and experienced.

I'm currently in Bahrain (an island right off of Saudi Arabia). I got very sick shortly after arriving...and of course, the thought crossed my mind - more than once - that the cancer was back.

Here's what happened...and some reminders about early detection. Early detection is key! Please read down the page to the Wired article...you'll be glad you did. (This post is from another blog of mine called, Soul First Living at www.soulfirstliving.com.)

Back (and no longer sick) from Bahrain

I'm back to reporting from Bahrain...and there's lots to report.

(That's my "new" hair. I got a little wild with the hair color and needed a fix. I also got a FAB cut...thanks for all to Natalie!)

Here's what happened... I have been out and about in Bahrain and seen some cool stuff, but a couple of days after I arrived, I got alarmigly sick. I didn't feel particularly bad - and it had nothing to do with the water or anything I may have caught here.

Since cancer - and any time I hit that "fear and death place" again - I pull back and really take a good look. I ask myself, "Am I LOVING what I'm doing?"

Then, I let go. I let go of any feeling of "wanting", any feelings of "pushing". I just sit back and enjoy life - taking that feeling of "just being" to an even deeper place.

I get reminded again that we only have a certain amount of time here on the planet. I remember that none of us has to "do" anything to be "worthy". We were created in perfection, and that there's nothing we have to "earn"...That our mere presence is enough...and I feel free all over again.

Here's are the details about what happened with my health...

(Anyone who's easily grossed out, skip down to "continue reading".)

Thursday evening after I arrived, I began bleeding profusely from places I shouldn't be bleeding. I'm not one to get overly alarmed...but I'll admit that I started thinking the cancer was back. The bleeding continued all night.

I finally went to sleep about 6 am. (I could have gone to the doctor...but I'm always one to wait - not always wise.)

By noon Friday, it had stopped. (Friday here is like our Sunday - and even the American facility was closed.) I could have gone to the Bahrain emergency room, but at this point, there was no bleeding and probably no emergency.

I drank a ton of water in an attempt to flush out my system - which apparently worked. When I went to the doctor on Sunday, they found no evidence of bacteria. The doctor felt fairly certain that it was a bladder infection even without the evidence of bacteria as my back and abdomen were sore. So he gave some meds.

(In case you were wondering, Sunday is like Monday here.)

I rested and felt much better. The aching and soreness in my back went away.

Continue reading  : )  - squeamish part over

I will still go get checked when I return to the states. I'm certain it was a bladder infection. The medication worked, but it doesn't hurt to be careful, especially since there was no bacteria present at the time of testing...and I have, in fact, had cancer before.

I feel confident because I had some follow-up testing done a few months ago which showed no tumors on the ovaries or uteras...other than fibroids which are benign.

Just FYI in case you didn't know --- cancers like breast cancer, ovarian cancer and prostate cancer are related. Having one or any of these in yourself or in your family presents a higher risk of the others.

It doesn't mean you should walk around in fear. However, it does present an opportunity to stay on top of things which I plan to do because...

With cancer, catching it early is key.

In fact, there's a great article in Wired magazine this month about just that - the fact that catching it early is key.

The article is called "The Truth About Cancer" - I was blown away. Bravo to Thomas Goetz on a well-written, necessary piece of information...and bravo to Wired for having the balls to put this out there.

The cancer survival rate if it's caught early is 90%. If later, that number drops to 10%.

I've known this truth about cancer from my own experience.

This disease strikes such fear because people don't fully understand the nature of the beast.

Yes, it's scary as hell to hear the words, "It was cancer."

Part of the reason cancer is so scary for so many is that it's not caught until it's darn near too late.

When I went in for my first biopsy, I was terrified - and rightly so. I had three aunts who died around my age from the same disease.

When the nurse told me that I was in good shape, that even if it turned out to be cancer, I would be okay...I questioned her about why she thought this was so. After all, my family history said different. I had read about how dangerous breast cancer is in younger women and how it's a harder fight the younger you are when you get it, and I'd seen this to be true with my aunts and friends.

All I knew who had gotten disease young had died.

I wanted to believe this nurse...but why - if what she was saying were true, then why did so many young women die of the disease? I wanted to know why it was so lethal for younger women.

I'll never forget her answer.

She said, "Because nobody's looking for it."

In other words, the cancer's lethal because it's not getting caught early.

That news should have thrilled me to hear.

After all, she's not saying that it's because one cancer is worse than another or because one person's system is stronger than another...although these can definitely play a role in the recovery of health.

She was saying that the primary indicator of success in treating the disease was whether or not it was caught early.

In my later "run in" with the disease, I would run into the politics of "early detection"...you can read more about my experience in referral hell here and here at "Breast vs. Board of Insurance".

Here's a brief insight on early detection.

When the powers that be talk of early detection with breast cancer, early detection means 40 and over. The MRI, while not entirely accurate, is ideal for detection in younger women when used with a mammo because of the dense nature of the breast tissue when women are younger. However, it isn't - and won't be - used as a regular detection tool because it's too expensive. (They say it's because it's because the MRI gives too many false positives, but I've been told it's because it's too expensive.)

Just look at my story...I had a family history of breast cancer. There were already suspicious findings, and I was told "no" on the MRI recommended by my doctors. (If you read the links above, you'll see that they eventually agreed to pay.)

The news sensationalizes cancer and the media pushes for research money for a cure...but the truth is, there's already technology available to catch it early - but no one wants to pay for the tests. Rather the tests don't get recommended because of costs.

Doesn't it make sense to stop it BEFORE it gets started?

The GOOD NEWS is...when it's caught early , it is highly - and much more easily - treated.

Lives are being lost because "nobody's looking".

A last note...

I owe a "thanks" to the Wired article for reiterating for me the nature of the disease.

The article was perfect timing and reminded me that cancer is easily beatable if caught early. A gentleman in the article, Don Listwin, lost his mother to cancer and started an amazing foundation dedicated to early detection...and to making certain that these tools are affordable. (Go, Mr Listwin!!!  And may God bless you and your work!)

His mother had had breast cancer years earlier. She was having problems and went to her doctor who twice diagnosed her with a bladder infection.

By the time they diagnosed the real cause of her problems - stage IV ovarian cancer - it was too late.

I will be going in when I get home to make sure that the bladder infection really was a bladder infection.

Thanks to Wired and to Mr. Listwin for the reminder!

The truth is...either way, I know that all is good, and that everything happens for a reason. I now know that under every seeming adversity lies an even greater asset. I know that everything - even cancer - goes to my greater good.

P.S. If anyone knows Mr. Listwin or his work, I'd love to connect with him. I think what he is doing is absolutely brilliant, and I'd love to help in any way I can. Besides my personal experience, I also have training that might be useful in his endeavors.

I'm back to reporting from Bahrain...and there's lots to report.

(That's my "new" hair. I got a little wild with the hair color and needed a fix. I also got a FAB cut...thanks for all to Natalie!)

Here's what happened... I have been out and about in Bahrain and seen some cool stuff, but a couple of days after I arrived, I got alarmigly sick. I didn't feel particularly bad - and it had nothing to do with the water or anything I may have caught here.

Since cancer - and any time I hit that "fear and death place" again - I pull back and really take a good look. I ask myself, "Am I LOVING what I'm doing?"

Then, I let go. I let go of any feeling of "wanting", any feelings of "pushing". I just sit back and enjoy life - taking that feeling of "just being" to an even deeper place.

I get reminded again that we only have a certain amount of time here on the planet. I remember that none of us has to "do" anything to be "worthy". We were created in perfection, and that there's nothing we have to "earn"...That our mere presence is enough...and I feel free all over again.

Here's are the details about what happened with my health...

(Anyone who's easily grossed out, skip down to "continue reading".)

Thursday evening after I arrived, I began bleeding profusely from places I shouldn't be bleeding. I'm not one to get overly alarmed...but I'll admit that I started thinking the cancer was back. The bleeding continued all night.

I finally went to sleep about 6 am. (I could have gone to the doctor...but I'm always one to wait - not always wise.)

By noon Friday, it had stopped. (Friday here is like our Sunday - and even the American facility was closed.) I could have gone to the Bahrain emergency room, but at this point, there was no bleeding and probably no emergency.

I drank a ton of water in an attempt to flush out my system - which apparently worked. When I went to the doctor on Sunday, they found no evidence of bacteria. The doctor felt fairly certain that it was a bladder infection even without the evidence of bacteria as my back and abdomen were sore. So he gave some meds.

(In case you were wondering, Sunday is like Monday here.)

I rested and felt much better. The aching and soreness in my back went away.

Continue reading  : )  - squeamish part over

I will still go get checked when I return to the states. I'm certain it was a bladder infection. The medication worked, but it doesn't hurt to be careful, especially since there was no bacteria present at the time of testing...and I have, in fact, had cancer before.

I feel confident because I had some follow-up testing done a few months ago which showed no tumors on the ovaries or uteras...other than fibroids which are benign.

Just FYI in case you didn't know --- cancers like breast cancer, ovarian cancer and prostate cancer are related. Having one or any of these in yourself or in your family presents a higher risk of the others.

It doesn't mean you should walk around in fear. However, it does present an opportunity to stay on top of things which I plan to do because...

With cancer, catching it early is key.

In fact, there's a great article in Wired magazine this month about just that - the fact that catching it early is key.

The article is called "The Truth About Cancer" - I was blown away. Bravo to Thomas Goetz on a well-written, necessary piece of information...and bravo to Wired for having the balls to put this out there.

The cancer survival rate if it's caught early is 90%. If later, that number drops to 10%.

I've known this truth about cancer from my own experience.

This disease strikes such fear because people don't fully understand the nature of the beast.

Yes, it's scary as hell to hear the words, "It was cancer."

Part of the reason cancer is so scary for so many is that it's not caught until it's darn near too late.

When I went in for my first biopsy, I was terrified - and rightly so. I had three aunts who died around my age from the same disease.

When the nurse told me that I was in good shape, that even if it turned out to be cancer, I would be okay...I questioned her about why she thought this was so. After all, my family history said different. I had read about how dangerous breast cancer is in younger women and how it's a harder fight the younger you are when you get it, and I'd seen this to be true with my aunts and friends.

All I knew who had gotten disease young had died.

I wanted to believe this nurse...but why - if what she was saying were true, then why did so many young women die of the disease? I wanted to know why it was so lethal for younger women.

I'll never forget her answer.

She said, "Because nobody's looking for it."

In other words, the cancer's lethal because it's not getting caught early.

That news should have thrilled me to hear.

After all, she's not saying that it's because one cancer is worse than another or because one person's system is stronger than another...although these can definitely play a role in the recovery of health.

She was saying that the primary indicator of success in treating the disease was whether or not it was caught early.

In my later "run in" with the disease, I would run into the politics of "early detection"...you can read more about my experience in referral hell here and here at "Breast vs. Board of Insurance".

Here's a brief insight on early detection.

When the powers that be talk of early detection with breast cancer, early detection means 40 and over. The MRI, while not entirely accurate, is ideal for detection in younger women when used with a mammo because of the dense nature of the breast tissue when women are younger. However, it isn't - and won't be - used as a regular detection tool because it's too expensive. (They say it's because it's because the MRI gives too many false positives, but I've been told it's because it's too expensive.)

Just look at my story...I had a family history of breast cancer. There were already suspicious findings, and I was told "no" on the MRI recommended by my doctors. (If you read the links above, you'll see that they eventually agreed to pay.)

The news sensationalizes cancer and the media pushes for research money for a cure...but the truth is, there's already technology available to catch it early - but no one wants to pay for the tests. Rather the tests don't get recommended because of costs.

Doesn't it make sense to stop it BEFORE it gets started?

The GOOD NEWS is...when it's caught early , it is highly - and much more easily - treated.

Lives are being lost because "nobody's looking".

A last note...

I owe a "thanks" to the Wired article for reiterating for me the nature of the disease.

The article was perfect timing and reminded me that cancer is easily beatable if caught early. A gentleman in the article, Don Listwin, lost his mother to cancer and started an amazing foundation dedicated to early detection...and to making certain that these tools are affordable. (Go, Mr Listwin!!!  And may God bless you and your work!)

His mother had had breast cancer years earlier. She was having problems and went to her doctor who twice diagnosed her with a bladder infection.

By the time they diagnosed the real cause of her problems - stage IV ovarian cancer - it was too late.

I will be going in when I get home to make sure that the bladder infection really was a bladder infection.

Thanks to Wired and to Mr. Listwin for the reminder!

The truth is...either way, I know that all is good, and that everything happens for a reason. I now know that under every seeming adversity lies an even greater asset. I know that everything - even cancer - goes to my greater good.

P.S. If anyone knows Mr. Listwin or his work, I'd love to connect with him. I think what he is doing is absolutely brilliant, and I'd love to help in any way I can. Besides my personal experience, I also have training that might be useful in his endeavors.

What does your Heart Reveal?

"Adornment is a reflection of the heart." - Coco Chanel

I'm sure Coco Chanel was referring to fashion...but perhaps that's not all she was referencing.

On first glance, this quote may seem shallow...as though it's saying looks are all important.

I believe she was saying that our outer circumstances and environment merely reflect what's going on inside.

She's implying - or stating, rather - than the outer has a strong tendency to reflect the inner.

I harp on environment - both internal and external - precisely because it's so important.

This doesn't mean you judge people by their looks or by a designer label or lack thereof.

If we define adornment as your dress, the way you care for yourself, the kind of environment you choose, your friends, your business...the way you choose to live your life, then we'd certainly hope that adornment is, indeed, a reflection of your heart...and your heart's desire.

Fill your life with the things you love and adore - and steadily remove those things that don't suit you or make your heart sing, and that goes for things, people and situations.

If you don't create your life the way you want it, who will?

With cancer, I think it's important to stand up for yourself with environment in terms of surgery and the doctors you choose. I had one provider imply that I was vain because I wanted to know how bad the hole from the lumpectomy would be.

(It wasn't vanity. I just wanted to be prepared. Going through cancer, you already feel a loss of control. I just wanted to know what to expect, so I could brace myself.)

That said, I do think that it's important to feel beautiful, especially while going through something like cancer.

That's one of the reasons the Look Good, Feel Better program works and is successful.

Anything that makes you feel more powerful and puts you in touch with your inner strength is a bonus.

I joke about one of the upsides of cancer was that I got a new - and bigger - set of knockers...and that they look amazing.

The truth is, it's not about the bigger boobs. It's about the fact that I still feel beautiful, that I see the scars as signs of an amazing strength that I didn't know I had before hand.

The new knockers are, for me, an outer sign of an inner strength...an adornment of the heart - and a very humble heart, a heart that knows every day is a gift.

Choose your environment and your at-tit-ude, ladies.

Your attitude is the most important "adornment" you choose...one which colors how you see everything.

Here's one last quote from Chanel that reflects her broad definition of beauty, adornment and fashion.

"Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening."
- Coco Chanel 

24 for Inspiration

I discovered this show while in the process of being diagnosed with cancer. I had heard of it from my hubby's Uncle Andy. He's a staunch retired military officer and said he liked the show. (High compliments coming from him as he doesn't really watch tv.)

I went into BlockBuster to pick up a movie and saw that they had 24. So, I picked up Season 1, Episode 1...and I was hooked.

Part of the appeal for me, I think, is that I have always been a size 4 or smaller...I've laways wanted to be able to bash heads when needed.

This show lets you vicariously take names and kick a*ss.

Isn't that what you want to do with cancer?

Sure, you can meditate and think positive thoughts. I did all those things, too.

 But cancer's a time when you need to tap your Inner Warrior, take names and kick a*ss.

I rented seasons 1 and 2 from Blockbuster. Hubs bought me seasons 3, 4 and 5 to watch while I was recovering. I got season 6 for Christmas. (We don't do t.v. - we have tv., just no channels.)

JUST FYI: A 2-hour "24" Movie is going to air November 23rd. I'm so excited that I'll be at my mom's so I can watch it...had to convince my mom that I really was coming home for Thanksgiving...and not just so I could watch 24.

I'm including a link to Season 1, just in case you need some inspiration and are just getting started with 24. (I'm warning you...it's hard to stop when you get started. The do cliffhangers well, and you never know who's going to die in this show. All characters are disposable - except maybe for Jack Bauer.)

Money, Manifesting and Cancer

I know...this seems like an odd combo, right?

After all, what can money possibly have to do with cancer? (Well, lots.)

This post is another in the "What Cancer Teaches" series because believe it or not, I have learned a lot about money from having had cancer.

Look, I know that cancer is terrifying...I joke a lot and am prone to see the "upside" of things, but never think that I went blithely through cancer with a pollyanna attitude.

However, what I have seen is that every situation is meant to teach, if we let it.

This is what I've learned about money from cancer.

Manifesting, Cancer, and Money

I became fascinated with manifesting because I saw some pretty amazing things through the journey with cancer.

I saw teachers appear out of odd places.

Having such great teachers to walk alongside me and guide me through the process was, I think, one of the many miracles and blessings given to me.

For example, I signed up for an online branding class with Suzanne Falter-Barnes and Pam Slim (Get Known Now and Escape from Cubicle Nation, respectively). Even how I ended up in that class is pretty wild. I went to the Online Success Blueprint Workshop with Ali Brown. While there, I noticed a woman who always had on a cute hat, and I knew I was supposed to meet her. (I didn't want to seem wierd, but I finally got up the nerve and just parked myself beside her.) She told me about the online branding class....and I knew I needed to be in that class.

Through that class, I met Michele Lessirard (New Moon Journal) who put me in touch with Dr. Carol Tunney. (You should know that I met Michele because I "got" that I should tell her about the dream I had that I had cancer. So, I emailed her, telling her that if she thought I was crazy, then to just please ignore the email, that I realized how strange I must sound - especially coming from someone she didn't know.) She emailed me back, didn't think I was crazy - and ended up being an amazing resource and guide.

All four women proved to be wonderful teachers and guides. (If you'd like Dr. Tunney's contact information, just email me. Both she and Michele were key in my being able to move forward with grace and hope through cancer.)

Through cancer, I saw things happen in my body that weren't supposed to be medically possible...at the very least, the occurences were unusual.

Cancer forced me to "step into" a different way of being - an easier way. (My daddy always said "don't force things". I don't think I got what he meant...but with cancer, once I stopped fighting it and took action, amazing things happened.)

Looking back after the mastectomy, I noticed that all of the "miracles" I saw with cancer came "easily". In other words, the miracles were not accompanied by struggle...in fact, the miracles started when I stopped struggling. I didn't necessarily have to "do" anything. It had more to do with the way I was being.

The Cancer Connection to Money

Having seen what I had seen with cancer, I began to wonder why money sometimes flowed and sometimes didn't. Money had always seemed hard to me, like there was some trick to it I didn't "get" or know how to use.

Money seemed like a puzzle I'd never put together.

My reasoning was that if it was that "easy" to manifest physical miracles, then why should money be that difficult.

In typical "Sandra" fashion, I became obsessed with understanding what I had done with the cancer to get the results I had gotten, and I became just as obsessed with understanding money. I knew on a gut level that whatever I had done with the cancer was key to my questions around money.

I read and reread certain books. I sought teachers and went to classes. I knew I was onto something and wasn't stopping until I had answers.

Here's (some of) What I Learned

1. Trust that you have access to everything you need and that all you need will be provided. Teachers appeared, calcifications disappeared. The wa to the money is there. You don't need to struggle over it. Finding the money lies in what you love.
2. Fear is an opportunity to learn to trust. Fear around money is, mamy times, a fear that we won't be provided for. It's an oppoortunity to understand that our security is not in things or money, that real security lies within.
3. Listen to that little voice - it is the voice of God. Everyone is born with this. There's a verse I love from Isaiah 30:21. It says, "Whether you turn to the left or to the right, You will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" The part about turning to the left or to the right basically means, "Don't worry about your direction or where you are, know that you are guided."
4. Decide where you want your focus (decide what you want) and keep it there - cancer was a life or death situation. I was in a situation where I could not afford to think about the alternative. I didn't think about "surviving". I thought about "health", a body that was "clear"...not just about being "cancer free". (There's a fine line of difference here, but it's an important one.) With money, I realized I was thinking about not having it or thinking about paying off debt...the fcous there may seem like money - but the focus was really a "lack of money" or on debt. It was a focus that was creating more of what I didn't want.
5. Picture what you want - not what you don't want. (See #3.) We control the pictures and images that go across our mind. Getting control of these images can feel like getting control of a pack of sled dogs...but it can be done. You are in control.
6. Live from what you love, from who you truly are. I attended Baeth Davis' LPVR workshop shortly after the mastectomy. Baeth knew of my abilities as an intuitive - and she also knew that I was reluctant to be open about it. (I spent years trying to hide this or turn it off. I used to feel like a freak about it.) While at the workshop, Baeth put me in front of the entire group (I did't know she was going to do this, but I'm glad she did). She put me up there and told me to "do my thing". People asked me questions about their health, business, relationships..and I provided answers. I'll be forever grateful to Baeth for helping me come out of the "spiritual closet". What's important about this is to know that my being open to the gift, being fully present in who I am, and serving others with this ability, led to an influx of money. Standing authentically in who you are leads to abundance in all areas of your life...this is the crux of Soul First Living.
7. Study...how else are you supposed to learn? My best friend is Muslim. She told me that when you get to the pearly gates, you'll be asked to tell God what you learned. Your mental faculties and the ability to grow them is a gift - and you are expected to use it. If you want to know about money, study it. (I've provided the links to some books below.)
8. Reframe your stories - What are your stories around money and where do they come from? Circumstances are simply circumstances. You can't change what's happened, but you absolutely control what you tell yourself about those circumstances. Are you a victim or a victor? Did you grow up in a house that lived paycheck to paycheck? Instead of thinking that this is the way it has to be, tell yourself that it taught you to be resourceful.
9. Know that EVERYTHING happens for your good...no matter what it may look like or how bad it may seem. Perhaps the bills are piling up to teach you how to face obstacles head on...instead of piling the bills, call the companies and work out an arrangement with them to repay.
10. The greater the obstacle, the greater the opportunity. The key to finding the opportunity in the obstacle is to know that the opportunity is inherent in the obstacle. Your perspective makes all the difference.

Resources:

These are 4 books that I've read (and reread) to understand Money.

• As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
• The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles
• Your Invisible Power by Genevieve Behrend
• The Miracle of Tithing: A Little Book of Answers to Questions about Tithing by Mark Victor Hansen (Chicken Soup for the Soul Guy)

 

Scars Update and Stories

I happened to notice that my scar on the left-hand side is starting to fade. (I'll post a picture later...not in the mood at the moment.)

I went to see both docs for my one-year check-up in July, and Dr. Roettinger, my plastic surgeon, was surprised and bothered that my scars - what I call the racing stripes - were still a fairly bright purple. They aren't raised up like htey were initially, but the color hadn't improved that much.

I wasn't terribly surprised as I have a tendency to scar easily...and when I get a scar, it takes for-ev-er for it to go away. (It was a bummer growing up in the south, having mosquitoes LOVE me, and being one who scarred easily...I wanted to swat not only the mosquitoes, but anyone who told me "just don't scratch it". Grrrr. You try it.)

What surprised me was that Roettinger was so sure initially that they'd be faded, or on their way to fading so quickly...I know my body, and while I was hoping he was right, I didn't get my hopes up on that one.

Truth be told, I really don't mind the scars. They are my daily reminder of how strong I am, and that I can do anything. They also remind me that whatever problem I'm facing in my business...it's NOTHING compared to facing cancer.

I think I've mentioned this before, but my brother says, "Scars ain't nothin' but a story." - and don't we all have quite a story to go with the scars across our chests?

Speaking of stories...whatever story you have about your scars and your run-in with cancer, please make sure it's a story that serves you, that makes you a winner. See your scars as signs of how strong YOU are, how resilient, how tough. See them as stripes from a battle YOU are winning (no matter how your battle is going physically)...cancer can touch your body, but it can never take or touch your spirit - unless you let it.

Anyway, when I noticed this scar, it seemed odd because only a piece of the scar seems to be fading...perhaps I won't have my scars tattooed after all. (I was contemplating tattooing if they remained the bright purple color...the upside to the numbness is that I wouldn't feel anything!)

Plus, I wouldn't want the tattoing to cover the scars. I actually like being able to see them.

Boobs Really Are Everywhere

I was flipping back through some pictures, and I can't believe I missed this...I was looking at pictures from mine and mom's Alaska cruise last year.

And what did I see...smack in the middle of the main foyer area of the ship??

Boobs!

You can click the image to see it larger...at least I think you can. (They're mermaids - appropriate for a ship - and of course, since they are mermaids, they must be topless.)

Maybe I was still "under the influence" of drugs a bit, maybe that's why I didn't particularly notice these boobies...but I was 6 weeks out from my surgery when we went on the cruise. So, no drugs. 

(I know I was definitely still TIRED and EXHAUSTED all the time...it's bad when you're with a 70-something year old, and YOU're the one who needs the nap! That was me on the cruise.) I'd get to the point in the afternoon where I just couldn't wiggle.

So, give yourself time to heal. No need to rush any longer...what did that ever accomplish anyway?

Know that it can take a year or better to get your energy back.

The upside is that now I'm much more respectful of my energy levels and much more aware of where they really are...and I'm completely unashamed if I need a nap.

Even Hummingbirds Rest

   I was sitting on the patio of my room at the Lowes Ventana Canyon Resort. From the patio, I could look out over the mountains and the Saguaro Cactus forests. I could even see the waterfall.

What I noticed and enjoyed this particular morning were all the birds going about their daily duties. Some flitted about. Some rested on top of the old saguaros, but they each were very busy with their business.

Then the busiest bird of all, the hummingbird, caught my eye precisely because it wasn't busy. It had stopped to rest in the tree.

Now, I love hummingbirds, and I know that even they rest, but as I sat there in the calm of the desert morning drinking my coffee, it struck me how very much like the birds we are. We get caught up in our Daily Duties, our chores, our "to do" lists.

As I watched this tiny hummingbird taking a break, I thought about how often I forget to take a break, to take it easy on myself.

I recalled once hearing how fragile the hummingbirds legs were, that its legs weren't meant to stand still and that's why they don't.

I wonder if we become so accustomed to rushing about that we lose the ability to stop...or if we do stop, it feels strange and we don't quite know what to do with ourselves...especially if we're not doing for others.

That's one of the lessons I learned...it is necessary to stop, to breathe, to just be. And, it's okay - even necessary - to do so.

How often do you stop to rest? To take a drink of water? To just be? (That one's the hardest.) - And how often do you do this with the sole intention of simply resting...without the "to do" list running through your head, making you feel guilty because you slowed your pace?

It took cancer and surgeries to slow me down, to get me to really stop.

Take time for yourself, away from the world. I'm finding that it's easiest to do this in the a.m. before I get too involved with my day.

Try it. Schedule it if you have to, but take the time to stop. After all, even hummingbirds rest.

Retreat!

I've been away. I attended a retreat...which was a prize for me, something I treated myself to...I'll talk about this more. I think self-care is a lesson we can all learn. I just happened to learn it from breast cancer.

I attended the Life Purpose Vision Retreat in Tuscon, Arizona, with my new business coach, Beth Davis (www.thehandanalyst.com).

(That's me with Beth.)

It was three days at the Lowes Ventana Canyon Resort. Beth scheduled the days such that we'd have time to relax. Plus, there was a spa visit included. (I had a most luscious facial from Heather...the girl has healing hands. It was amazing! - and my skin looked fantabulous afterwards.)

This was the view from my window. I adore the desert. It was especially beautiful due to the recent rains they've gotten. Apparently, the've gotten more rain than usual due to the Mexican hurricanes.

So why a Life Purpose Vision Retreat?

Well, I've spent a lot of time over the years working on figuring out my life purpose, why I'm here. I've always had a sense that I am here for a reason and knew that I was slightly out of step with that reason,that flow.

I had the purpose figured out before the retreat, and I wanted to come out of the three days with a more solid idea of what it would look like...which I did. The retreat was a HUGE success all around. It was an amazing group of people.

I even met a gal I've only known through email. Rochelle supported me in my mastectomy decision by giving me the low-down on what to expect, and she did it in a way that was caring, truthful, and non-threatening. (Beth knows us both as clients and hooked us up. Thank you, Beth!)

Rochelle and I are going to be doing a project or two around breast cancer. She, too, really got her life together once faced with breast cancer. We're going to do something on Finding Power in the Breast Cancer Experience - Emerging Stronger, Better. (That's me with Rochelle below.)

Rochelle calls herself a cancer "thriver" not survivor. She, like me, finds the word "survivor" somewhat objectionable. I'm nitpicky with language, and to me, survivor implies that I was once a victim...and I don't feel like I was. It's cool if you disagree about my perceptions of the word survivor. It's definitely a good thing to be. I just don't identify with the victim side of it.

In my eyes, I have to thank cancer for my getting really clear about what I wanted and why I'm here. The year I spent wrestling with cancer served to "bring me home to myself." I started listening to that "small, still voice." I started listening to my dreams and following my gut instead of dismissing it.

And you know what??

Life runs a lot smoother when I listen to and follow that voice - if not smoother, I'm much more at peace when I follow my heart - easier said than done for me. I think this is something I will need to be mindful of for the rest of my life.

I've learned a lot about myself in the last year and saw a lot of those lessons come to life before an audience at this retreat. Truly life changing!

So, cancer has been a gift. I think about where I was last year and look at where I am now. I never would have guessed nor could I have imagined...and I have a vivid imagination.

I loved my life before, and my life now is all that plus extra icing on top, and I saw that in spades while I was in Tuscon. I am blessed.